The digital camera age has revolutionized the number of photos taken in the world but the number actually saved and printed has diminished to almost nothing. It has also made editing and deleting unflattering photos possible before they ever see the light of day or a computer screen. I've spent 2 weeks looking for BEFORE pictures - there's a noticeable absence of them in the photo albums and cd's cluttering up the office!!I feel sad about this! I know I was in the photos and I know I have deleted them. As a result, I feel like I am not present in my past - there is little photo evidence of me there! Kelly, a fellow WWer known as FIVEGEORGE42 has a tagline I love: "Jan 15, 2002 - The day I showed up to start living my life." - and the absence of photos of me over a 3 year period remind me that I wasn't showing up to live my life - I was there but I 
wasn't present in my own life. That has changed!
wasn't present in my own life. That has changed! But, I do have a few photos at my heaviest and I share them with you now. These were all taken mid-year 2004 when we were living in Calgary. And they remind me of some good times - visiting the mountains, redecorating our house and travelling - too bad I deleted so many memories!
I was miserably unhappy. I had difficulty finding work in my field in Calgary and was bored witless at home. DH travelled often and spent more time at the Calgary airport than at home. I wasn't accustomed to the dry air and, like many Albertans, my asthma became out of control. Chinooks caused me migraines, ground squirrels chewing through 
the garden daily made me homicidal, killing frosts in August left me feeling inadequately prepared for prairie life - on and on and on - a virtual encyclopedia of negativity. The reality was, I was unhappy within myself. I didn't like me very much and there's nothing like a major change to your circumstances to bring the worst out in yourself.
the garden daily made me homicidal, killing frosts in August left me feeling inadequately prepared for prairie life - on and on and on - a virtual encyclopedia of negativity. The reality was, I was unhappy within myself. I didn't like me very much and there's nothing like a major change to your circumstances to bring the worst out in yourself.These 3 pictures are of a woman who no longer exists. I didn't set out to change her - I didn't even know that she needed much changing!! But change she did - as much on the inside as on the outside and that will continue to be explored in this blog. Next post - "during photos" and, eventually, NOW!
