Tale of Two Blogs

I've been leading a double life and it's caused a standstill on this blog even though I like this blog very much.

I designed this blog to be a blog for me and me alone - anyone else reading it was welcome to do so but, ultimately, I just wanted a place to come when I needed to be reminded of the importance of my journey.

The problem now is twofold - I haven't really needed to be reminded as often as I thought I would. I now believe that I've managed that amazing thing called a lifestyle change - I firmly believe I have made life altering changes that are permanent.

My daughter tells me the best evidence of this is what happens when I buy a coffee. She and I have the good fortune of meeting on the train 2 mornings a week for our commute - lovely to get together for a visit before work. When we get to Union Station, I go to the Cinnabon stand to get a coffee - I like their coffee (Country Style) but I cannot even look at their baked goods. DD tells me that when I am asked if I would like anything else, I make the most appalled face as though I cannot believe anyone would ask such a preposterous question. She's right - I'm in the line up where tons of people (pun intended) go to load up on the worst form of pure sugar nightmare imaginable and I act like it's a ridiculous idea that anyone would want to order one of those things. I am trying to reform for the sake of the other customers and the lovely people who serve me my coffee but the very idea of a gloppy, gluey, calorie laden, nutrition free product such as a Cinnabon bun makes me want to throw up. Same with cheesies, Mars bars, chip dip, french fries, every single thing sold at McDonald's, deep fired anything, store bought baking of any kind, home prepared products using Campbell's soup as a base - the list goes on.

So, I'm not tempted. Don't have cravings. Eat alot. Exercise willingly. Feel self love. Feel grateful.

As a result, I don't get back to this blog very often.

The second reason I'm not here is because I started another blog on my sparkpeople page. That blog I started to inspire others. And it's worked. After just 3 months as a sparkpeople person (a sparkie?), I was chosen as a "Motivator" - an honour given to those people who are nominated by other members. I'm very touched.

My sparkblog is really dedicated to what I think about this journey I've been on. To share some of the self learning I've had in order to stimulate others. It is an unapologetically positive blog. My whole page is - dedicated to simply positive thoughts and gratitude. This is definitely in keeping with the sparkpeople approach - it's a way more positive and helpful site than my old friend WW.

So, now, I have 2 blogs. This one for me and that one for others. Because the other is so abjectly positive, I've decided to use this one to explore some of the darker sides of this journey - again, for my own purposes. I've had some breakthroughs recently about my childhood and upbringing and I want to explore their impact on me as part of this journey. It may get a little ugly - who knows? But, I thought a warning for anyone lurking around might be in order.

If you're interested in my sparkpeople blog, visit my page:

http://www.sparkpeople.com My name there is serene_me.

Stay tuned!