It's hardly fair... shopping still sucks!

I am willing to bet there isn't a fat woman out there in North America who doesn't believe with all of her heart that clothes shopping will be nirvana when she reaches that magical number lodged in the ideal weight part of her brain. I certainly did.

At 221 lbs., I was so tired of my limited options in clothing stores. I bought everything with spandex so it would be comfortable over rolls. I could also buy a smaller size if it were stretchy enough! But, I could never buy blouses that fit over my upper arms. And they gaped at the chest regardless of the shoulder width. I purchased many jackets that could not do up at the waist - if they fit the upper arms, I was more than happy to leave them open even if it did give the appearance of a gentleman's hunting jacket from a 17th century painting. Pants were a nightmare - to get something to go around my ginormous thighs I had to endure 4 inches of gaping at the waist. A belt cinching that extra material just pulled the whole thing upward resulting in pants with perma-wedgy. Always uncomfortable, snug, pulling, and, let's face it, not very attractive. No matter what I bought or how much I paid for it - clothes just didn't look good on me.

So I learned to hate shopping - paying too much for ill fitting, ugly clothes seemed like torture. I once enjoyed thrift store shopping but, as an obese woman, you really don't want someone else's pulled out, worn out garments. Brand new ones would rub an open seam between the legs soon enough - no need to get something already threadbare! Taking valuable time from an overpacked day in order to drive to a busy mall where you're bound to be disappointed, depressed and disillusioned just doesn't seem like a good way to spend your life.

Losing 81 lbs should mean that these feelings are behind me. That shopping for clothes with this trim, fit, proportioned body would be a joyful experience. Walk into any store in the mall and come out with a bag of perfect clothing designed to fit the new me like a model's wardrobe.

HA!

Shopping is still a nightmare! I have almost as much difficulty now as I did 5 years ago. I am a size 2 - this is not a real woman's size anymore - only teenagers and movie stars wear size 2. I lost 81 lbs but gained 5 years in age - I'm almost 50, I don't really want to shop at Garage, Aritzia, Suzy Shier or H&M. I want to shop at Cleo, or the Bay or Laura or Nygard but, in order to do so, I have to shop in the Petites section. I am 5' 5 1/2" tall - Petites are too short in the leg length, too short in the hemline (no one, and I mean no one, needs to see 50 year old formerly obese knees), too short in the sleeves. But, the regular sizes start at 4 and that, apparently, is too big.

They shouldn't be too big - I weigh 140lbs for heaven's sake!! I weighed 20lbs less all through high school and was happy with my size 10s. What the hell has happened here?? How can I weigh 140lbs and be too small to buy clothes?

GAH!

I don't have time for this. I really don't. I am going to Newfoundland for the weekend and, given its, shall we say, unpredictable summer weather, I thought it might be wise to have a second pair of long pants along for the ride. I own one single pair of long pants that fit. I spent three hours shopping on Thursday night coming home with a pair of Calvin Klein jeans that are too short but, at least they fit in the waist, hips and legs. That's it - one pair of jeans from 7 stores, at least 15 trips to the change rooms and a wallet prepared to be open.

It was so discouraging. In addition to many pairs of ill fitting jeans, I tried on jackets that fell off my shoulders like a de-padded 80's blazer. I tried on skirts that could accommodate both arms with the zipper done up. I tried on baggy blouses (even in the arms) and ill fitting sweaters and I can't even imagine getting to September and facing my completely empty winter wardrobe. I may need a month off work just to find the time to search out clothes to wear to work.

What has happened? Why isn't this more fun? I don't ever want to go back to being overweight but, please, someone make cothes for me that fit!